The Sirens of the Ego

You’re too tired.

This is not going to work.

It’s just not our thing!

A waste of time!

Boring!

This is so weird!

Go back!

Whenever I teach an intimacy exercise, I give my students fair warning. As they start to move, the first thing that is going to happen is that a voice inside their heads, their ego, is going to do their very best to talk them out of it.

Our egos are the parts of ourselves that keep us believing that we are separate from one another. In order to keep themselves empowered and in control, they put up defenses to anything that might challenge their power. Anything that inspires a state of present moment awareness or deep connection is like garlic to the ego vampire.

Although we need our egos to navigate life, like naughty children they need regular discipline. If they completely take over, it’s hard to tell whether the voice of the ego in our heads is looking out for our best interests or just trying to remain in power. Sound familiar?

Our spirits truly need to come forward and touch each other in intimacy but our egos are not so into that idea. Intimacy necessitates a softening of the ego because in order to merge with another person, we need to become porous, less fortified in our separateness, to let our defenses down.

Like Odysseus and the sirens, the ego is a hazard that needs to be navigated. To explore intimacy, we need to tie ourselves tight to the masts of our ships of breath, movement and ritual. I tell my students not to listen to the song of the ego lest they be drawn to the rocks of isolation. In order to hear the music of intimacy, we need to remain steadfast against the wail of the egos cries.

If your ego is keeping you isolated, I can help you past those rocks. I know the way to intimacy and connection, but you'll have to listen the old excuses of why you shouldn't until you pass them by, on your way to the deep connection and pleasure you're searching for.

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